


Hey joint, wanna smoke a hajime? - Komahina AU

by MiyuYuma



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst and a lil' bit of fluff sometimes, Dramatic, Drug Use, Elf Komaeda, Emotional Baggage, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, High Komaeda, Hope's Peak High School, Hospital times, Hurt/Comfort, I promise it's good, Idiots in Love, Just for the sensitive people you know, Love Triangles, M/M, Maybe some kind of sensual smut, Mutual Pining, Nagito is a stoner lol, Passionate, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Pining, Please don't be scared by the tags at the end, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Romantic Fluff, SHOWSTOPPING, Sad times, Sexy Komaeda, Sexy human monokuma teacher, Still mostly angst from Hajime lol, Substance Abuse, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, TW: Suicide, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Tumblr: danganronpaimagines, Underage Substance Use, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Verbal Abuse, abusive father?, abusive mother?, also some saiouma heh, drunk father, rawr, weed is getting smoked
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27120103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuYuma/pseuds/MiyuYuma
Summary: In this world, there exists only one purpose:To be someone, someone with talent.So in the pursuit of proving himself, Hajime spends most of his time in his school books.But what happens when the perfect student Hajime,meets the troublesome stoner, that is Nagito?A bittersweet au that is far from flowers and rainbows (Although there's sure to be some rainbow action ;) )So... wanna smoke? I mean, read?
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 55





	1. Act One: The Right Person

This morning was brighter than yesterday, still his head sank low and dark, as he lay his eyes; following the dried out plant, lifeless in its pot, on the white lilie. 

He forgot to water it, after caring for it religiously day after day, he let it die too quickly.

It doesn't concern him a whole lot though, the flower was a gift anyways.

And flowers never lasted long.

Not in this life.

Is there a parallel universe in which flowers don't die though? Hajime asks himself as he brushes the nightly slumber from his mouth, staring into the mirror. Still sleep drunken, he wants to dwell on more intriguing theories, just like he always does and how he likes to spend time, that couldn't be spent any wiser, the most, but his mind wanders to his reflection.

He always had the same thoughts about his appearance, like how awful his bed head looked to him. No matter how often he changed his hairdresser or how often he went to cut his hair, that one strand seemed to grow inevitably faster and longer than the rest of his mahogany spikes. With that strand, it honestly didn't make any difference if he styled the rest in a proper way or not. 

Acquaintances of his used to tease him by saying he was standing out just like the black, cypress tree in a certain painting. And in a way, like his hair resembled the elongated dark tree, he was just like that as well.

He tried to get rid of this problem by getting a cut regularly, but this proved to be too expensive as he would've had to continue getting a haircut weekly. I mean, isn't this slightly alarming? The rate of his hair growth, weekly? It was no use, regardless, so he left the strand to be as it is, and continued to live his life, as if he was totally and utterly oblivious to the fact that the crooked Eiffel Tower on his head caught the attention of most people he passed, bringing upon him various amused and bewildered stares on a daily basis.

Finishing up, he makes sure to pack the food he prepared the night before, and the change of clothes, for later. He sneaks past his father's bedroom, and he prays that he doesn't wake up before he can leave the claws of this place. It would inevitably take more energy than necessary to soothe the man adequately, so that the boy could leave to go to school. If he were to notice Hajime right now, and that was a scenario which occurred maybe a few times a week, only if he was lucky, and only if his father wasn't out drinking for too long the day before, where his father let loose of all his inhibitions. It was exactly in those moments, those fragile, fleeting yet incessant hazy heartbeats, that Hajime wished that he was dead. Moreover, it wouldn't matter if he had to go to school after. His father didn't care. And it's not like that he did not care for his only son in particular, or especially because it was Hajime. It was more and bluntly put that he did not care for anything anymore. But luckily for Hajime, his father does not wake up this morning, so he quickly starts to recover his held breath, as soon as his feet reach the front door, to, at last, leave his hell hole. Throwing his schoolbag over his back, he sighs. The old man didn't wake up today. But oh, how much he wished that he never woke up again.

The sun was already out and ready to gaze into each one of those faces on the street Hajime was passing through. His school wasn't too far from home, to his comfort. It did take him longer to visit his mother, but as annoying and tiresome his daily walk to school was, he never once minded the walk to his mother.

Slowly approaching the busy streets near school grounds, more and more students begin to walk alongside the burdened boy. Many of the students are already engaged in lively chatter, forming the usual groups of friends. Though Hajime found them to be pathetic, in a way. He was always repulsed by other people, come what may. Even as a kid, there was never anyone he truly got along with, and it has always been the same. It has always been just him. Most kids have been mean, doing mean things to him when he never did a bad thing to anyone in return, or to start with. Though the physical torments stopped once he entered high school, the smart but lonely boy, still remained lonely in his high school, Hope's Peak high school. But it was different now. He used to be left out, getting rejected when he wished to play with the other kids, now he was closing off all on his own. Despite it being downright miserable, Hajime distances himself on purpose, mainly because he grew to hate people, but also simply because he didn't have any time to be a part of any type of social group to boot.

All through elementary school and into high school, his social life extremely underdeveloped, what he did take a liking in, and he grew to find solice in, were his studies. Night and day, all Hajime knew, and he knew how to do best, was to study. In his entire academic career up until today, he always excelled, teachers preached him to be the best of the best. If he kept up with his grades and his hard-earned honorable impression at school up until his graduation, his academic efforts would hold a high promise to be noticed by great schools and universities, even abroad, giving him the chance to, finally, leave this town to be free.

Speaking of extremely important, life-changing academic chances, as Hajime comes near the school gates just having passed the crosswalk, he remembers yesterday's important essay. The Vietnam war, typical. He spent the whole evening finishing it, but he forgot to check if he actually made sure to take it with him this morning. Freezing in his tracks, he decides to look for said paper on the spot, taking his schoolbag off of his shoulder to rummage through. He surely was in his head a little too much, much to his disadvantage. Because it doesn't take long for a few rushed students to overlook the boy, hunched over his belongings, to ram against his body. Like a perfectly planned chain reaction, he falls against another student that had stopped in front of him, his school books and papers flying into the air, essay in the midst of chaos, both landing on the hard concrete ground.

It was quite painful, but the clumsy one, thankfully, didn't get injured. Exasperated, he groans out and lifts himself up on one knee to take in the mess that had just occurred on school grounds. 

"Hey, can't you watch it?"

Hajime, now irked by this bothersome situation, gets up on his two feet, dusting himself off to look up at the trouble maker that made his morning all the worse.

But his anger-filled breath gets stuck in his throat.

"I'm terribly sorry."

It was Sonia, a girl from his class.

"But mind you, weren't you pushing against me?" She exclaims shortly after.

She was always kind of cocky, Hajime thought to himself, as the diva and 'most popular' girl from his class threw him a semi-friendly, semi-degrading look. Coming from a rich family, it was no wonder that most people grew to like and adore her. She had the attitude of a princess. And it's not like she was mean in any significant way. he just didn't care enough to like her. He never talked to her, in fact, Hajime never really talked to anyone in his class. The only exception was his kind-of friend, Kazuichi. And the pink-haired rebel also wasn't nearly as close to him as for Hajime to consider him a true 'friend'.

Hopelessly antisocial, with a non-perishable annoyance for anyone and an angered mood, the boy can't help but snare out:

"Still no need to flaunt your big ass designer bag in front of everyone to brag, 'miss Sonia'. You also could've watched your step."

The it-girl looks at him in an overly dramatic, shocked manner.

"Excuse me?"

But as he can't handle all the attention that was now on the two, he grunts into himself before taking his belongings, stuffing it into his bag, and leaving the scene. The other students that were assembled around Sonia, slowly went their way as well, not really minding the offended girl, still standing on the same spot.

Oh boy, would Kazuichi explode when he finds out that something like that happened with "The Sonia Nevermind". But let's not mind that for now.

Situations like that were typical ordeal for him. And even though Sonia really wasn't such a bad person at all, he just couldn't bring himself to go back and apologize now. He was too stubborn and tense to make friends, let alone to just simply get along with his peers.

He finally enters the main hall, and soon reaches the hallway to his classroom on the second floor, which is just to the right after the stairs. Just like every day, he walks to the corner of said hallway, leans back against the brick wall on the back, and waits for the teacher to arrive, eyeing the happenings in his front view.

Only fifteen minutes left until class was to start, all the students from his class come together one after another, some coming in groups, all assembling in front of the door. Inevitably, Sonia also joins the class, and as she spots Hajime, standing like a loner in his usual spot, she doesn't offer him one gaze as she joins in with the other girls, talking in the high manner that she always talks in. Mood lifted to it's max, like everyone knows her.

Hajime never understood people like her. How they could just be so open and fearless with everyone coming their way? How was she so friendly with these so-called 'friends', even though she obviously didn't even knew any of them truly? All these people always seem so fake nice. Like they smile in your face, but go laugh about you behind your back. No, not like... It was exactly like that, Hajime exclaimed in his head.

Soon enough the teacher, Mr. Monokuma arrives, to unlock the classroom and let everyone, including Hajime, enter the class.

Finally, he was back in his zone. Engaged and stimulated, the quiet boy doesn't waste a second to write down all the contents of today's lesson. Mr. Monokuma, with his jet black hair, gelled backwards, and his white hair strand covering the left side of his head, the smug teacher continues preaching about history's greatest warlords. Only for a short moment. does he break concentration to realise that his friend Kazuichi, hadn't come to school yet. Maybe he's just skipping class again, Hajime assures himself, before minding his studies once again.

The following classes are all the same, with Hajime simply indulging in the curriculum and the materials, giving his best efforts to contribute to the discussions in class, throwing rebuttals left and right, and yet again, earning high praise from his teachers.

Just like that, most of the school day passes.

Coming back from his last class of the day, physical education that is, he wipes off his sweat as he leaves the gym to return to the changing room.

As is typical of Hajime, he was the last to leave, since he always made sure to run the extra mile around sports grounds, so he could not only satisfy his teacher with his outstanding running time (and running form!), but so he could also run his energy out, and release bottled up from all the frustration of the daily burdens, even if it was just a little bit.

As he was about to change, he notices something. His backpack was open.

But he didn't remember it being left like that. Growing suspicious, he looks around, and after only taking in the presence of distant football sounds and children playing, coming from outside, and his own presence, still soaked in sweat from his cramped running, he kneels down and looks inside.

To his luck, none of his belongings went missing. People stealing from him would be the last thing he needed right now. But apart from his things, he surprisingly finds another strange item, something that certainly did not belong to him.

He feels around the random object, but the confused boy can't seem to identify just what this thing is that he's found shoved in his bag.

He pulls it out. Confused and slightly disgusted is probably the most accurate description of his facial expression right now.

It was a grass pipe.

"Oh great." Throws Hajime out into the changing room. Brows pressed together, tired of his day, he flatly packs the thing back into his bag, changes his clothes, and leaves the school without spending one more thought on the drug-related object.

Whose ever it may be, and it likely was just another one of those bad pranks done by some childish kids, he wouldn't deal with this, at least not after he saw his mother.

Massaging the back of his neck, he reaches the bus stop and steps into the bus that arrived just as Hajime came close.

He takes the seat furthest, on the back of the bus, just by the window, and takes out his headphones. Entangled, he leaves them be the mess that they always turned into once he put them in his pocket, and shuts off the world.

"Next stop: Hope's Peak Hospital."

...

to be continued


	2. Act Two: The Wrong Person

"HEY." 

Almost falling out of his seat, Hajime, still a bit sleep drunken, looks up in a daze. The poor one fell asleep, the midday sun slapping his face awake. "Would you get off? I don't got all day boy." The impatiently rude bus driver stares him down, glaring and shouting from the driver's seat. Desperately trying to appear woke and compos mentis, he finally grabs his fallen headphones and bag to, at snail's speed, leave the bus. The bus driver solely opened the doors at the front, so Hajime had no other choice but to pass him, having to endure the scoffs and degrading comments older people usually make about the oh-so 'rotten youth', not knowing any respect or responsibility. Oh, how Hajime hated people.

Massaging his arm, as it fell asleep during his little bus drive nap, he makes his way up the road. The hospital was on the far outskirts of town, too far from his home, he thought. Once he finally turned eighteen, he could finally get his license, then the drive to his mother would only take ten minutes or so. That is, if he even had to visit her then, Hajime thought, staring up at the sky. It was still bright out, and the summer sky enveloped the whole city in it's warmth. The whole city, but it somehow managed to completely skip the spikey-haired boy. He wondered why, why the sun hated him this much, as he stares into the bright, cloud-free, blue endlessness, and he concludes that it must simply be because it was him. It must simply be because he was the way he was. Reciprocating the hostility he presumably receives from sun, moon and the stars, he keeps on walking uphill.

Following the road, which lead to the parking lot, walking past several people walking arm in arm with their loved ones, as if to taunt him even more than he felt was necessary for the universe to taunt him, Hajime eventually reaches the reception.

"Hello, may I help you? Oh-"

It was the same receptionist from many other times when he visited. A young woman, looked to be in her late 20's, perhaps just having landed her first job, he guesses. Seeming to have recognized him, she quickly flashes him a warm smile, following up:

"It's you again, young man. She's still in the same unit as she was last week. Up to the third floor, in room 309."

She coincidentally almost always had her shift whenever he would come to visit. Over time, she inevitably took notice of him, appearing to admire him, a young teenager, for visiting his sick mother. But the young teenager didn't even spare one thought about what she, or other people in general, thought of him. Smiling at her politely, he bows before heading towards the stairs. There were elevators, but they were always filled with beds which took up all the space or ill patients, which Hajime didn't want to come into close contact with, so he climbed the six flights of stairs, not even having to breathe one bit quicker than before, to, at last, stand before room 309.

Knocking twice, he slowly pulls down the door handle to discreetly enter, not wanting to wake the other patients in her room. Her bed was the third coming in, the last one just by the window. Even before reaching her bed, he can clearly see her sleeping. Smiling dejectedly, he, without making too much sound, takes one of the chairs and takes a seat right next to her. She looked tremendously tired. Maybe he should've come a little earlier, Hajime thinks to himself, as he analyzed the features on his mother's face. He sat there for a little while. A little over five minutes, maybe longer. Trying to savor these moments he got to spend with her, even if he didn't do much, as she was asleep. Seeing her, pricked and gouged out by needles and IV's, he puts his hand over hers, which were inanimately resting on both of her sides. Her hand was warm, but her skin was dry and rough on the backside. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, going in circles, taking in his mother's state. She not only looked tired, she looked noticeably worse. They recently shaved her head, since it was no use trying to maintain only a few strands of hair, there wasn't much left after chemo anyway. Her body laying there looked light, feeble, as frail as a feather, he thought. The TV, that hung in one corner of the room for all patients to entertain themselves with, had been silently playing in the background, silent enough for people to sleep, yet still loud enough for Hajime to tune in. An ad starts playing. A pregnant woman and a man can be seen, presumably husband and wife. The woman seems to be having contractions. 

>>This is it.<< Says the wife.

In the next clip, another father is on display, now in school, with his daughter hiding behind him. They stand in front of a teacher.

>>This is our first day.<< says the father, while caressing his daughter's head.

The next clip shows another family, cuddled up in a bed, with their dog nearby, and their child drawing next to them.

>>This is my favourite.<< Says the mother to the father, both looking content and happy.

The ad continues to show various families facing different situations, showing how happy families can be, no matter what life may throw at them. Rubbing the muscles in between his eyebrows, the sunken boy diverts his attention back to his mother. Would he ever experience being part of a happy family? Putting his hands together, Hajime tries to distract himself from his thoughts. Did he ever truly feel happy, or content, or... loved? In his family? Fiddling with the skin around the nail beds on his fingers, he lingers on thoughts he didn't like to think, now biting off the skin. Is this karma being put on him from a past life? Maybe he has been a serial killer or something, that would also explain all the people in his life who used to be cruel to him for no reason at all. He overdid it, his finger was now bleeding, although it was barely forming a drop. Hajime was fine with all this though. He didn't need people, all he needed was to make it out of his current lifestyle, so he could finally move away, anywhere, because every other 'where' was better than here. Apart from school and him being underage, the only reason that would undoubtedly keep him here was his mother. Despite him actively trying to convince himself that he truly, did not care for other people at all, deep inside, and he knew it, he would miss his mother, when her time had come to go. And he knew she had to leave soon. It struck him in his chest, but he accepted it. It was fine. Almost about to fall asleep himself, he instantly jerks fully awake once he hears the blanket rustling. She finally appeared to be waking up. Opening her eyes, ever so slowly, she almost instantly looks at the boy she brought into this world, smiling.

"Hello, Hajime."

Said boy sits up, putting his hand on her arm.

"Hey mum, I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Oh no no no, I didn't even hear you come in."

Of course he wouldn't want his mother to know that by now, he's been waiting for more than an hour for her to wake, knowing she'd feel bad about it. Hajime vigilantly takes his bag, to take out the clothes he had packed this morning. In the process, the pipe falls out, the one he's been randomly given by random kiddos at school, producing a small 'clack' on the ground. His mother still being quite drowsy, doesn't fail to notice the fallen object.

"Are you smoking weed, Hajime?"

After picking it up to quickly stuff it away, he throws up his head, unimpressed mortification covering his face.

"Someone pranked me. I found it in my bag after school today, don't be silly mum."

She smirks slyly. It's apparent that she's plenty amused with his son's 'I'm not interested in such kinds of things' attitude.

"I'm happy that you're enjoying your time being young, my son."

Rolling his eyes in response, he can't help but to smile himself, which results in lowly, heartfelt laughter from both mother and son. She was still the same. Despite all the chaos, her carefree demeanor didn't change, at the very least.

"I brought you the change of clothes you said you needed. Where are your other things? Let me put them away for you."

"That would be lovely of you, my dear. My belongings are in the second closet. Here, take the key."

She doesn't stop once to beam at her son while he put her newly bought clothes away. She still hadn't moved much, Hajime notices, and he quickly realises just how weak she had become. They both exchange a few words, talking about Hajime's excelling grades, his mother's health, and spend some rarely found time together, before he has to leave again. Kissing his mother on her forehead, he promises her, as always, to visit her again the same time next week, before bidding her goodbye.

~~~

*BEEP BEEP*

Groggy, he slams his alarm clock off his nighttable.

"Four hours, sweet."

He exclaims, burrying his head under his pillow. But the pragmatic, perfectionistic, soon-to-be workaholic that he is, it takes him no more than ten seconds to fully wake himself and get on his feet, make his bed, pick up the alarm clock from the ground, to get fresh and ready to ace yet another day at Hope's Peak high school. This morning, his father fortunately was sleeping deeper than an australian sleepbagger during hibernation, so he feels daring enough to go into the kitchen and make himself some lunch for later. Normally, this task would result in either his father waking up due to the noise, or his father already being awake, demanding his son to make him food, no matter if he was late for school or not. The fact that this morning, he was lucky to start his day calmly, made his mood rise up just a little higher than before. Preparing some simple sandwiches, he also decides to pack up some bagels that were leftover from a few days ago, and lastly fills his bottle up with orange juice, before sprinting out, afraid that he wouldn't make it in time to be overly punctual again. He set for himself the goal that he would never miss a day of school, and to always arrive on time, every day until he graduated, and he was confident, even a bit cocky, that he was going to succeed. But, as many already know, life does not always go the way we plan it to go, or hope for it to go. That, however, was a truth Hinata Hajime had to find out in his own way, sooner or later. Once again nearing the school streets, he encounters his classmate and somehow 'friend' Kazuichi.

"Brooo, what's up, haven't seen ya around in a while, huh?"

The cheerful boy throws his arm around Hajime, who wasn't all too bothered, but also not quite unbothered by his physical greeting.

"Weren't you the one who didn't come to school?"

Taking Souda's arm off of his shoulders, the two oddballs continue walking side by side, checking up on each other.

"So how's ya mom?"

"The same as before, they still need to continue with the chemo, but other than that..."

"You know if you need a ride sometime, I know a few guys who could take you the route. You don't hafta tell me, I know how far it is, man."

"It's fine. Also, I don't know if I want to have anything to do with your type of friends, anyway."

"Hahaha, scared much?" He flashes his glistening white, shark resembling teethy smile.

"As if."

Leaving the class to go into lunch break, the two sit down in the cafeteria to recharge. The school's lively as ever, with all the individuals flooding the hallways to escape the rooms of torture. As luck would have it, Hajime's usual spot is free, so he makes himself comfortable, Kazuichi following along.

"No way, you brought some food??"

"He was practically dead this morning, not like last week."

"Sweeeet, what'ya got? You pack any for me?" Kazuichi was smiling even wider than before, and Hajime has to sigh before revealing the flavourful goodies. He offers his friend one of the sandwiches, and the two start munching away. Hajime's backpack laying openly on the table, it was only a matter of time for the nosy youngster, already having inhaled the sandwich, to rummage and fiddle in his far from chill friend's schoolbag.

"UH, what the hell? Hajime??"

He pulls out the foreign smoking pipe, holding it out in front of him, eyeing Hajime bug-eyed as he waits for an answer. Still chewing, he can't help but to roll his eyes, which had become his automated response to what he considered 'bullshit coming from other people's mouths'.

"It's not mine. I was pranked again, don't freak out."

"Pranked? Who would prank someone by putting a peace pipe in their bag?"

Upon inspecting it further, The pink haired fella quickly claims:

"Man, I know whose this is! He's been looking for it everywhere! Hahaha."

Having caught his attention, the slow eating boy enquires:

"You know who this belongs to? Tell me then. I seriously have better things to do than to carry drug-related stuff with me, that doesn't even belong to me in the first place. You know that."

"You know what? I got an idea, and I need a smoke anyways. Come with me for a sec."

The older one confidently walks out, the stiff one sticking to his class mate, hastily shoving the rest of his food, along with the pipe, in his bag.

Walking away from school campus, Hajime quickly takes note of the route Souda was taking. He was leading him to the smoking corner. This wasn't a real smoking area, of course, but rather was it a spot perfectly hidden from the school buildings, still close enough to go back fast enough once school break was over. Also, even if there were any teachers that knew, they never came all the way back into the shady back alley. It was the perfect spot for every underage smoker of Hope's Peak, stoners alike. Distancing themselves more and more from school, the two boys sneak away behind some bushes and run down walls, before entering a round of people, all assembled in circles and groups, some sitting on the ground, a few leaned against the walls, all engulfed in clouds, that smelled far too horrendous and polluted for Hajime's nose to bear. He looked up, the trees and decrepit houses that were near the school had build the perfect fort, only letting a few glides of sun fall through.

This spot looked like it came right out of a fairytale; if it wasn't for all those addicts filling the place, the annoyed honor student thinks to himself. Going around the groups, Kazuichi casually greets each and everyone of them, Hajime simply following him within safe distance. Since his nose became too irritated to the point it made his eyes water, and that, of course, was natural for someone like Hajime, who wasn't used to inhaling so many different unhealthy substances all at once, he wanted to stay away as far as possible from the toxic grey, without getting separated from the only person he knew around. He didn't recognize anyone of the people Kazuichi interacted with, except for some that went to the other classes in his grade, the ones that also regularly skipped school and were considered 'trouble makers' by the teachers. All the others seemed to be from other schools, skipping school and spending their time to 'chill'. Some of these junkies looked significantly older than them, even a little frightening, the introverted teenager thought. 

They move through the smoking bunch, going further back until they reach a small green field, surrounded by trees. There weren't many people hanging out here, to Hajime's surprise, merely a few laying in the grass, tugged away under the shadow of the trees, or couples having their own fun, which made Hajime grow even more impatient to finally leave this hole. One tree especially stood out to Hajime though, and it wasn't because it was the biggest and most noticable tree around the whole place, and it also wasn't because the sun rays were bleeding through the tree top beautifully, ensaring the leaves that were collected in a green crown just like a painting, but rather was it because of the strange boy, that was sitting on top of one of the sturdy branches. His white, almost platinum hair mane made the whole scene look like it came straight out of a movie. It appeared as if the tree was growing a white flower in it's center, since the clothes of the aforementioned seemed to blend in with the green of the surrounding fronds. The sight made Hajime feel weirdly nostalgic inside, but he brushes it aside, as his friend looked as though he was going exactly towards the white-haired stranger, so Hajime marches through the grass as well, steadily moving towards the giant tree.

Standing before the now giant-looking tree, Hajime can inspect the mysterious boy a little closer. He was leaned against the tree trunk, having his legs crossed and eyes closed, with his arms behind his head like he was just sitting in a comfortable chair. Kazuichi shouts out in a smug tone:

"Nagitoo! My man... you're not gonna believe what I found, or should I say- my guy here found for you."

He throws me a wide grin before playfully punching against the tree bark.

"Nagito freakin' Komaeda, why you always gotta chill on this thing man, come down! I got class soon."

Nagito Komaeda huh? Seeming to have finally taken notice of his friend's noisy ruckus, the slow fella swiftly lifts himself up, elegantly positioning himself to jump down to, at last, stand before the two.

He was taller than Hajime expected, the sharp features on his face and the concurrent, yet subtle warmth in his eyes surely made Hajime unsure about what impression he was to take of him.

Still smiling, the Komaeda boy opens his arms to greet Kazuichi, both delightedly chatting up.

"Souda, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Oh, ya know, I'm just doing my own thing and stuff, haha!"

Turning his head to the other one, the still uknown boy peers with his glowing green grey-ish eyes into Hajime's. Souda jumps in:

"Ah right, this ma guy, Hinata Hajime. We're in the same class, he's a special one, aren't ya, Hajime?"

Upon seeing his guy's facial expression, he abruptly stops messing around, and finally gets to the reason why they came here in the first place.

"I thought I was high and imagining things, but here he was, havin' your- Ah, why don't ya just show him Hajime?"

Cueing Hajime to give his friend the missing object, he proceeds to pull out the pipe from his bag, holding it in his hand on full display. Feeling pressured to talk, Hajime manages to voice out:

"I-I guess this is yours?"

Now turning his whole body so he was completely facing the wary boy, Komaeda, having held a straight face the entire time until now, beams at Hajime, sparing only one quick glance at his supposed pipe, and sparing more glances at the one that had caught his attention curiously. Hajime didn't know why, but he found his entire demeanor to be odd, and he didn't like it one bit.

"That is in fact mine, yes."

Reaching out to grab the pipe, Hajime comes into short contact with his hand. It felt deeply cold, and it also felt like he rested his hand a little longer on his, longer than it was necessary.

"I think Kazuichi here hasn't introduced us properly yet. My name is Nagito Komaeda."

Reaching out his other hand, the odd one gazes deep into Hajime's eyes, smiling low and polite. Hesitantly, Hajime reciprocates the handshake, only glancing at him in halting rhythms, as Komeada's stare seemed to further make the misplaced student feel uncomfortable.

"H-Hajime Hinata. But you already heard that.."

"Yeah. Nice to meet you."

Komaeda continues to hold his hand for a moment, and just as Hajime was about to question the prolonged, weird gesture, the boy retracts his hand, pulling his piercing attention back onto Souda, who was by now already smoking his second cigarette.

The two like-minded resume their talk, mainly about how they got some really good, 'high quality weed', this time from a guy Komaeda really trusted, but Hajime didn't feel like listening to any more than that.

"Yeah, Kazuichi, I think I'll just go back. Class'll start soon anyway."

"Oh, yuh, wait lemme just-"

Souda quickly finishes his cigarette, giving his weird friend one final handshake before catching up to Hajime, who was already turning back.

"I'll see you sometime, Hajime Hinata."

Hajime is taken aback as the odd one calls out from behind him, so he pauses for a moment, but he quickly decides it's not worth looking back, as he wouldn't know what to respond either way. So, although it might have come across as rude, Hajime stomped on, as he was used to keeping other's people's expectations of him low, regardless of who it was.

"Hey dude, what's the hurry? I know it's not your kinda gang, but ya look even more angsty than usual."

"Like I said, I don't like your friends."

Running his fingers over his hand, which was left cold, he groans into himself.

"Especially not this one."

~~~

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) <3
> 
> Any feedback, questions or suggestions are welcome c:
> 
> I'm really feeling the vibe of this story, so stay tuned for some long chapters hehe!
> 
> I wish you a wonderful day/night^3^
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


	3. Act Three: Fertilize me

"My dear class, everyone: you'll be having a new classmate."

Mr. Monokuma came in a little later than usual, usually popping up and flashing right past us as soon as the clock ticked precisely on the hour. His gelled hair was losing a few strands, which loosely fell into his face. In the back of the classroom one can faintly make out a few melting sighs, Hajime however doesn't need to turn around to know whose audible drools were making their way to his unfortunate ears. Junko Enoshima is yet another person he just simply could not stand. As usual, she was head over heels for the teacher, and nobody ever really knew if she was making moves on him on behalf of her grades, or if she had those other intentions, those intentions that made Hajime symbolically throw up in his mouth. Either way, Hajime strongly believes that even if he weren't as antisocial as he was, he still wouldn't like her. That's just the type of person Hajime would never want to associate himself with. Mr. Monokuma interrupts his train of thought:

"Why, please excuse my lack of punctuality, I had to take care of some business this fine morning."

He fixes his hair and his jacket, before continuing:

"As I said, you will be having a new classmate. I ask of you that you show yourselves from your best side and that you welcome your new friend with open arms and a bright smile!"

Gaining not even the tiniest bit of enthusiasm he had expected from his class, with everyone just staring either ahead, out the window, down on to their table, or nowhere at all really, he clears his throat purposefully louder.

"Now then, would you please come in?"

The classroom door opens once again, and for a second Hajime doesn't look up, but rather he questions why the teachers always had to introduce the 'new student' in such a dramatic manner, instead of just simply coming in with them, so they wouldn't have to stand in front like a criminal in court. But he hears Souda gasp lowly, so he looks up.

"Please introduce yourself to the class."

"Hello, my name is Chiaki Nanami. It's nice to meet you all and I hope we can get along."

His new classmate was a delicate-looking girl, her baby pink hair matching with the baby pink backpack she was wearing. She looked friendly, Hajime thought. Her smile was tender and warm, but not too fake. Being directed by Mr. Monokuma, Chiaki took a seat on the desk just in front of Hajime. He can already feel the stares of all the boys checking her out, especially the one next to him, although those not being even meant for him.

"Hey, dude, isn't the new girl kinda cute?" Kazuichi whispers, not silent enough, to Hajime's side.

"I thought you had a thing for Sonia?" The now annoyed boy shoves his friend's elbow back into him, sighing to divert his attention back to his notes from the last lesson, which kept him from losing focus, instead of rather focusing on the new girl. Though Hinata does spare one last look at her, as she took her school materials out of her back. He's not sure, but he thinks he can make out the silhouette of something resembling a game console, is it a DS? No, a PSP?

What a weird girl.

Once class was finished, and everyone was busy surrounding the newly joined classmate, eager to squeeze out every bit of information they could get, The spike-headed one quickly made his way out of the turmoil. He didn't have time to spend on such useless social endeavor, he was keener on handing in his extra work for math, on which he worked far longer than is okay to mention. Taking determined steps into the hallway, his feet seem to be slipping on something, but he is quick to catch himself. Walking further, Hajime tries to look for his math teacher, when the floor beneath him slowly starts taking on a wobbly consistency. Unsure of what was happening or if he was imagining things, he comes to a halt; tapping the tip of his shoe into the floor tiles, they bulge in. The sensation, similar to walking on softened rubber elegantly curving around in slow motion, made Hajime lose grip on his math papers. He urgently quickens his pace, panicked as to avoid getting dragged down into the floor, which could barely get called a proper floor at this point, and takes a sharp look around himself. Senses heightened, he only now realizes that he was the only person in this entire hallway. Blood rushing into his head, pulse now in sync with the fluttering of his eyelids, the adrenaline acts as a push forward, making Hinata run for something stable to stand on, run for safety. The doors kept growing further apart from where Hajime was frantically losing his stamina, and his mind, the damned hallway seeming like an endless treadmill leading nowhere. It was like hell was casually here to introduce itself to the young one. When Hajime tried to catch his breath, the floor slowly started turning liquid under him, and if he were to stand on it for too long, he would most surely sink into the school floor like quicksand. So, throat suffocating from the outburst of claustrophobia this unfortunate boy was experiencing, he tries reaching out for one of the doors, or the stairway leading out of the hall, but it's no use. He most likely already ran more than a mile, and it surely felt more like an eternity. Dropping his school bag and papers, at last, he goes into full sprinter mode, swinging both of his arms like a maniac in order to reach something to hold on to, anything. But once again, it's no use. He ultimately tries calling for help, but his vocal cords merely manage to form out a faint, hoarse whimper. His panic grew, Hajime's own body not listening to his orders. Who could he even trust at this point, if he couldn't even trust his own body? Eventually, the tiredness came flooding over him, his limbs turning rigid and stiff from struggling against the flexible resistance beneath, just waiting to swallow him whole. His muscles cramp up, breath hissing against his arm as he tumbles down on his front side. He grows more and more scared as he comes to the slow creeping realization that he may lose his life in just this moment if he didn't do anything right now. The floor current kept throwing itself over his legs and shoulders, celebrating his final downfall. He opens his mouth, a low sigh escapes his torn lips as his eyes grow wider and wider, betrayed by his own flesh until finally, he falls. His legs partly on the bed, he finds himself laying on the ground next to his bed stand. His breath was irregular and he was heaving just like a marathon runner after a 26-mile run. Shaking around his dizzy head, he found himself in his bedroom. It was... just a dream? Hajime found himself questioning the truth of that statement, as the vivid nature of said 'dream' couldn't seem to let go of Hajime, too real to not be true. A few minutes pass until he finally calms down enough to lift himself off the floor, his shirt sweat drained to the point it was sticking to his back and chest. Letting his body plop onto his bed, he takes a deep breath, inhaling into every little inch of his lung before releasing. He definitely needed a time out. The dreams were becoming more and more frequent, on top of his energy declining over the past few months, sure signs of his body crying out for a break. Hajime took notice of all the symptoms he had from presumable stress, but he kept pushing his body and mind to its limit regardless of what it supposedly needed. But today's nightmare was by far the worst he had, and the headache, which wasn't only coming from the fall, further ensured the boy: He needed a time out. Turning to his side, he drifts off, his last thoughts encouraging him to take a break after tomorrow's school day, as tomorrow was Friday anyway. Calm and serene, smoke was rising somewhere. Calm and serene, a flower was getting plucked. Calm and serene, white smoke was leaving someone's lips.

Of course, it had to be that specific Friday that Mr. Monokuma decided for his students to form groups in biology. Assuming that at this point, Hajime's disdain for anything which involved socializing with people didn't have to be pointed out any further, one can only assume the volume of the negativity-filled sigh that left his mouth as soon as the new group project was announced.

"Shit, did you hear the mans? We're forming groups of four, that means there's a chance of one in four that my girl Sonia is gonna get in a group with me!"

"That's not how probability calculation works-"

"Shhhh Hajime, I think he's forming the groups now."

While the stronger and broader built students in class swiftly arranged the tables so groups could inherit the place, Mr. Monokuma sorted out his papers and eagerly started reading out the names. Collecting every speck of self-control and willpower he needed to go through this ordeal without making much of a fuss in front of the teacher, or anyone else, Hajime consciously takes deep breaths, massaging his temples in circular motions. Circular were also the moves of the students ordered to move around in the classroom. A few minutes pass and in their own good time everyone found themselves, like tiny little insects swarming around their nest, at their assigned seats. The name of the new girl is being called, and the actively breathing boy was once again reminded of her existence, and her name, to his lack of care. Finally putting a stop to his gradually-turning-vigorous-temple-massaging (yes, it happened more frequently than it was good, or healthy for that matter), he glances up at her, getting up to find her seat next to Sonia in the back of the classroom. Sonia seemed to be welcoming the girl with plenty of delight, both chattering on in giggly tones, and the sight made Hajime hope all the more that he would just end up in a group with students who knew the subject and could actually get quality work done, or at the very least, people who were just as absent and unproblematic as him. It would spare him any more mental trouble than he already had to bear.

...

"Hajey man, I gotta tell you something!"

"I told you to stop calling me 'Hajey', that just sounds stupid."

"Aight Hajome, whatever you say. Listen man, this is just perfect...! I mean, has fate got its ass out for me or what???"

Grinning from one ear to the other, the reckless one reads through their assignment papers one last time, before stuffing it into his bag. Hajime, too, reads through the paper everyone got handed out at the end of class.

>>Group 6: Sonia Nevermind, Souda Kazuichi, Chiaki Nanami, Hajime Hinata<<

He didn't know whether he felt like laughing or crying, and although all the stress from day to day surviving made him all the more sensitive to the emotional baggage tugging at his tear glands, it was probably better that he halted his emotions then and there, before they poured out and made a fool of him in the midst of the school. Why did he feel like crying anyways? It's not like this was the worst group to ever be in, and it wasn't about the specific people in his group either. Searching further in the depths of his complex consciousness, it simply had to do with his exhaustion, that was the only plausible cause for his daily routine to weigh down on him more than ever. It was almost as bad as when his mother was admitted to the hospital a few years ago. Shaking off the flashes of that day, he's shaken by Souda, who was blocking their way to the stairs.

"THE Miss Sonia and ME in the SAME group. Shit man. This is my chance!!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting? Also, Kazuichi, let's move."

Going down the stairs and out of the school building, Kazuichi bounces up and down like a little child, making his buddy sink his head down in embarrassment.

"So, what I wanted to tell you: This Saturday, My bro is throwing a party at his place. He's from another school, before you ask, and no, it's not Teruteru again for god's sake, that shit sucked bad."

"It's like you've read my mind."

"This time it's seriously gonna be lit! A bunch from our school are coming, including Sonia and a few more. I know it's not your thang, but you gotta come."

Hajime's eyebrows furrow just enough for Souda to react in light speed.

"Man, you never go out, like ever. And we don't got many years left until we all graduate. I know school's important to ya and stuff, I get it okay? But you're cool when you loosen up a little, so come on. I bet you need a break too some time? My guy Nagito is gonna be there too, and he's really chill to be with. So what'ya think?"

Ah. The stoned elf-like guy.

"You do know we have our important physics exam coming up next week right?"

He groans into himself, hating the way his words came out of his mouth in the next moments. And to Hajime's determined inner beliefs, he would have never even said yes to this invitation if it weren't for his current circumstances, and if it was just any other day. But he made sure to justify in his head that this was indeed a measure to properly 'relax' his being. Only so he could perform better at school again. Nothing more.

"...I guess, I can come. But only for a few hours."

"Wait, for real??? Hell yea, dude!"

Hajime doesn't fail to notice the cigarettes Souda already held ready in his pocket, pulling them out the more they left school grounds.

"I'll text ya the details later, aight? See ya man."

Bro-hugging Hajime, Kazuichi swiftly runs to the gate where another guy on a motorbike was already waiting, jumping on and cruising off just as quickly.

Nice, just well done Hajime, he proceeds to argue behind his eyes, but he was very well aware that it was just a tad bit too late for that. Putting all unnecessary things away, he was just about to start his walk home, when something in the corner of his eye catches his attention. It was the new girl, Chiaki. Making him stop in his steps, the girl shyly smiles from afar, waving her tiny hands. The boy, however, doesn't know what to make of it, so doesn't make anything of it, turning his head behind him to exclude the possibility of her intending to wave at someone else. Upon not finding anyone behind him at all, the boy once again turns his head to the girl, her smile still up and about, hand drifting through the air with the elegance of a flower. An attempt is ready to launch, but something in his psychological matrix goes so terribly wrong that it causes a disfunction at the attempt to socially respond, in a way that was considered normal by any means, and the only thing that can be outwardly seen is a mere distorted, sloping facial expression, and the realization of it. Once again, nobody can even blink before the fastest runner in school uses not even four percent of his stamina to accelerate to an inhuman tempo, to leave the crime scene of his freshly murdered social existence.

A cold shower, yes, that seemed to be just what he needed right now.

As the icy current crept on to Hajime's delicate skin, flowing down his tired limbs, he turns inwards. It was Friday night, a time where most of the people his age would go roam the streets to do all the things Hajime never dared to, or wanted to do. Most of the people his age would go kiss someone, fall in love, go on adventures, make new friends, and just simply do whatever they wanted to do. Placing both of his hands against the bathroom wall tiles, he closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing, so the cold would not make him hyperventilate and fall. This was just one of the things he usually did when he felt the burdens of his world too heavy. This small, seemingly insignificant moment was the break that made him refuel his energies, but for the first time in his life, he didn't feel relieved. He didn't feel energized. He didn't feel motivated. He just felt tired. Tired of everything. It wasn't just the physical kind of tired, but an overall tired that could hardly be described with a few mere words. Flexing his calves, he feels the soreness and aching. Amping up the coldness of the water stream even more, he shudders, but he doesn't move. Although the water was pouring so vigorously onto his head and body, he could still faintly make out the deep snores of his drunken father. He slowly lifts his hands off the tiles, and sits down in the shower. Putting his arms around his knees which were firmly pressed together, he lays his head to rest. He would probably have to start another part-time-job at this point, but how much more would he be able to carry? He was already carrying the apartment bills, because of his father losing his job. He was already carrying the grocery shopping, the maintenance of everything regarding their living. The expenses of his mother's medical bills were piling up as well. On top of that, he was aiming to be the school's best graduate, so he had a decent chance of studying at his desired overseas colleges. All that on top of this never-ending exhaustion, or was the exhaustion coming from all this? He unknowingly dug his nails into his skin, deeper than he wanted, yet due to the ice raining down on his being, he neither noticed the bruises he gave himself, nor the tears that came falling down from his eyes. And while he normally didn't curse much at all, in this fleeting moment, he just wanted to scream fuck you to the whole world, to everyone who brought him to this point of hurting right now, to everyone and everything that made him miserable, to everything that made his father addicted to alcohol and to every force in the world that took away his mother's health and spirit. Yet, all that was heard, were the ugly choked cries of the boy who sincerely tried his best, though no one seemed to notice.

...

>>"Party's at 8, I'll pick you up."<< Message sent 11:47 AM.

Of course, knowing Souda, he would have slept until 11 am on a Saturday. How typical, Hajime shook his head while sitting at his desk, pen in one hand, phone in the other. Having his eyes open since 5:30 am sharp, he's tried his very best to use what little time he had left before the party, studying like there was no tomorrow. Party, huh? The word even sounded weird and foreign in his own head. The only time he ever associated himself with something that could be considered a party, was that one time in 7th grade when the whole class was invited by Teruteru, and oh, how much he wanted to forget the party at Teruteru's. It's been four years since then, how time's have changed. Or maybe things are just starting to come full circle? What nonsense, Hajime cringes at his sudden philosophic viewpoint to continue on with his last equation. A few hours pass just like that, and with the numbness in his bottom surely getting more intense, the A-student jumps up to take a mini-break. Opening the fridge, he found a bountiful amount of cold air, and a bit of cheese. Suspiring heavily, he throws the clock a look. It was still a while before Souda came to pick him up, so he promptly gathers his keys and some money to go for a quick grocery biking tour, but just as he got himself ready to leave, his father stomps out of the bedroom.

"..Boy, mmmh where are you going?"

Freezing, almost letting the keys drop, he turns to his old man.

"Just buying some food, we barely have any at h-"

"I said, wheree are you going my boy, hmm?"

Taking groggy and unstable steps towards his son, the man coughs up the sleep from his throat, almost falling over, yet he tried his most to appear as the dominant father figure he had to be in front of his young one.

"Is this how you treat your father when he's jus' woken up, huh?"

Hajime still frozen in place, hand still on the door handle, manages to hold eye contact only for so long, until his courage leaves him, just as fast as his father lifts his hand. Pressing his eyes shut, he looks up once he doesn't feel anything, to see his father reaching for his belt.

"Why're makin' such a face, Hajime? My son, my deaar son, you oughta learn how' o treat your father with respect-"

He doesn't flinch now. He doesn't even cry out. He simply endures for the time being. He knew that since it was so early, that his father wouldn't have enough patience to continue this on for a longer time. It would be a different matter if it was night, though, but Hajime doesn't have space in his head to think about many things, as he built a shelter for his inner child, the campfire of his inner safe space warming up the frozen bits of what was left of him in that state. The snow was getting thicker now, almost raging like a storm, and Hajime tries his best to set up the planks he collected to secure the opening, but there are still cracks in his fort, leaving space for the unbearable cold to come crawling in, so he takes a few more wood logs to keep the fire of his heart warm, or at least prevent it from freezing completely. The child, now shaking in the back, cries out to Hajime.

"I'm scared. Why does this hurt so much? What did I do wrong? I never wanted to hurt anybody, so why does everybody hurt me? Why do they do this?"

But all that Hajime is able to do for the child is to, without shedding tears himself, sit down next to him and to embrace him in his arms. As the storm outside grew more and more violent, Hajime's only thought is to keep him safe, holding him as tight as he could.

"Shhh, I will protect you, okay? I know I'm not the best either, but, I will make sure that nobody hurts you, ever."

The ice-cold was whipping against the fortress, and as the front side kept on losing more and more stability, Hajime's only instinct is to stand with his back against the openings, shielding away as much as possible with his body. The fragile child looks at Hajime, tears in its eyes and lips cracked. A few eternities pass. The storm stops as quickly as it came upon. After making sure that the current was definitely over, Hajime falls to his knees, the little one running up to him. He remains there for a while, collecting his composure and his breath, before picking up his keys and the grocery bags to finally unlock his front door. He made sure that he still had the money in his pocket, checking his phone one last time for any message from Souda before, with heavy steps, leaving his home. He grabs his bike and, with all the care and caution he could offer at that moment, climbs on to make his way to the shopping district.

It's not as lively as it usually is on working days, yet there were still quite a handful of people filling the little nooks and crannies of the green streets. On this particular day was the sun especially bright, enveloping all the glowing trees and flowers on the sidewalk in a warm veil. Riding through the tiny street, which had tiny shops spread all across both sides, Hajime's aims for his staple supermarket - Rocketpunch Market. Once inside, the fresh cocktail of culinary smells brings the boy back into reality, at least a tiny amount. Going through the aisles, he gathers all that they needed at home, and swiftly proceeds to checkout. As per usual, Hajime is greeted by a loud voice, properly looking up for the first time today since leaving the house, he finally takes notice of Akane.

"It's rare to see you come this late on a weekend day, what's up Hajime?"

"It's been a long day."

"Well, it's only 2 pm but hey, already filling your stomach with the goods, huh?"

She throws him her devilish, yet friendly smile, as she scans his items. It just so happened that Hajime set himself a routine of when he would come shopping every week, and without any further intentions, was it exactly on those days and exactly during those times when the tanned extroverted girl had her shifts. They didn't know much besides the other's name, and there was a nonverbal agreement that both preferred it to stay that way.

"How about some bagels again? They're on sale right now, and I have exactly two left, as always."

"Sure."

Leaving with packed grocery bags, his eyes wander over the scene of the idyllic houses filling the shopping street. Despite it being called a shopping street, it still looked more like the classical small village, giving the visitor a more venerable vintage feel than any other place nearby, with all the flowers and the plants decorating the sight. One big flower stands out in his view though, and upon further examination, does Hajime make out a big fluffy white cloud amidst the street across. Only then does he realize that the fluffy white hair belonged to none other than someone he had already met before. The guy in green made his way past all the grocery stores, casually walking into the pet supplies shop. He never seemed like the animal type to Hajime, or so he thought, as he without much thought walks a bit further along his side of the street to peek into the window. Guessing that he recognized his frame purchasing a dozen palettes of what looked like dog food, the boy continues on his way to the cashier. Hajime wants to ponder a bit longer about what that Komaeda guy was doing there buying so many dog food cans, but his arms started to hurt awfully right now, and the heavy grocery bags weren't making the burning sensation under his jacket any easier, so he promptly made his mind up to ride back home. His mind however cannot shake off the things he just witnessed. Was he stocking up for his dog? But thinking back, since Hajime's first encounter with the albino boy, he confidently came to the conclusion that the stranger was to be nothing short of weird and kind of wicked in a way, so him owning a dog fell out of the question. Maybe he was just high again, Hajime laughed to himself ever so silently, amusing himself fully with that thought.

RING RING

"We're outside, come on out."

Taking one last look into his bedroom mirror, he, for the fourth time since the last passing hour, tries to talk himself into a sane state of mind.

"You. Are. Fine, Hajime. You are gonna be fine. Yes, your outfit sucks, but it's whatever. No one's gonna have their eyes on you anyways."

Cringing to the core, he failed to look himself into his own eyes any longer, not bearing the uncomfortable reality that was his poor being, or so he thought, and quickly decided to take his necessities, which aside from the usual keys and phone entailed the two bagels from earlier in case he got hungry, and went on ahead to step outside. In front of his doorstep, the brotherly acquaintance was nowhere to be seen, rather was a loud car engine filling the streets of the neighborhood. The sun was slowly setting on the horizon, yet the wheeled automobile was pulling every pair of eyes that came close: The whole car was coated in a dubiously dark violet. As soon as the neon-pink mane peeked out of the car window, Hajime was sure that this tacky car was gonna be his ride tonight. He couldn't make out the driver's face, as both Souda and him were still a bit too young to drive on their own, but he speedily made his way over to hop in.

"Hajomey man, wuss guud?"

Taking a seat next to yet another stranger, whose hair was the same color as the car, he closed the door as quickly as the also unknown person drives off with full speed.

Nodding quickly to Souda, who was seated in the passenger seat in front of him, smiling like the shark that he was, he looked around. Next to him in the back seat was a boy, looking much smaller in height than himself, dressed in a white suit. He had been shadily grinning at Hajime ever since he saw him from across the street when they picked him up.

"Sooooo, that's ya friend, eh?"

"Ah right, guys: This' Hajime. Hajime, the dude next to ya is Kokichi."

"A pleasure."

Hajime kept quiet, merely observing the weird folks in this tight space as they drove off into the dawn of day.

"Ma mans driving, that's Gundham."

"Might I mention, my full name is to be pronounced as 'Gundham Tanaka'."

Throwing Hajime an intense look through the rear-view mirror, the introverted boy doesn't know what impression to take of either of the two randos.

"N-nice to meet you, I guess.."

"Nice to meet you? Hahaha, man Souda, you seriously have the most WEIRDEST of friends."

The purple-haired exclaims, instantly giving Hajime a clear sign of 'I am not to be trusted or to be associated with'.

"Dude, fuck off, hahaha. He's my guy, and yea he's weird, but shit man did you ever look in the mirror?"

"Fuck you."

Laughing in excessive tones, Hajime simply looks out the window, already launching the mental zone-out space for when things got more annoying later on. The purple of the car doesn't fail to shine strong and wild into the night, so Hajime points out:

"Is this car yours or...?"

Insinuating that he specifically meant the correlation of the matching colors, he gives a crooked look towards the ill-tongued boy next to him.

"Why, aren't you a smart one, huh?"

Slapping against the driver's arm, Kokichi laughs out:

"My parents gifted me this car, a beautiful Fairlady the 1970s Datsun Z432R, but I can't pull off driving this thing without being stopped, so I had the wonderful Gundham drive us."

Gulping at the fancy name, Hajime frowns away from the boy. He wasn't the biggest car fanatic ever, but he did know his share of things, and this car was one of the most expensive Japanese old-timer cars out there. He figured certain car collectors would kill for such a vehicle. The little guy surely didn't look filthy rich, but wealth likes to keep itself hidden sometimes, just like how the most wealthy people on earth would wear three-dollar T-Shirts, Hajime figured.

"I-Isn't he also...?"

Souda turns back to his, by himself proclaimed, friend.

"Gundham is done with school, he's older than he looks and got the right to... a lot of thangs, right Gundham?"

"It depends on what you people consider 'having the right to', but indeed."

Making yet another mental note of 'Friends of Souda are not to be trusted', the rest of Hajime's ride is mostly filled with bad jokes on behalf of the smaller but rather impudent boy, scary commentary from the driver Gundham, and the typical laughs from Souda. Hajime would be relieved when they finally arrived at their destination, because once the party finally was in full motion, then he could finally breathe out in relaxation, or at the very least that's what he yearned for. But, knowing very well why he even got himself in this situation in the first place, he also promised himself to take the opportunity to 'have fun' when it opened to Hajime. Otherwise, he would have endured all this insufferable socializing for nothing. Nearing a quite wealthy-looking part of town, one Hajime rarely had any business in, the car ultimately came to a halt in the driveway of a big looking apartment. From outside the giant windows you could already see the bright flashing lights emerging from within, plenty of people filling the space. It was at this point that the adrenaline was storming up into Hajime's chest and into his whole body, making his non-physical self shiver in gruesome anticipation.

I am having a good time

I am gonna have some fun

I am not gonna be the Debbie Downer of this party

I am gonna be the happiest outgoing me that I can be and have a lot of fun

...

Stepping into the party that strongly reminded Hajime of a witches' Sabbath, the utmost unfathomable cocktail of scents hits the boy right in his sinuses. He was barely inside, yet the far too familiar wooden pages of his school books were calling him to come home already. Walking in last, he already had lost sight of his only somewhat familiar face around, peeking his beanie far out in the room and gone he was. Well, better find some spot to blend in and under, Hajime decides as he takes vague strolls into the living room. It was either very spacious, or maybe there were just more people to come, or both. The green, blue and red neon lights flashed their way past all the people, some Hajime recognized, some were totally unknown to him. Most of the guys around looked scarily older, or just plain unpleasant. The few he did know where mostly from his school. For a while there's nothing going on, and Hajime's mind wandered further out as the music encouraged his dozing, until a hand pulled him back into the sinful living room.

"Dude, I thought ya were right behind me."

"I... got lost."

"Hahaha, man you are crazy. Come on, let's go to my guys."

Pulled through the midst of dancing people, a few sending Hajime the occasional wink or tongue play, making the reserved one revert his eyes to where he didn't have to see, both eventually reached a more quiet corner further back. Quiet being relative in these circumstances, at the very least one was able to speak audibly without having to shout. A small 90's neon disco light was spinning and lighting up the dark atmosphere in the corner, and Hajime almost found it to be comfortable. Almost. Several couches were assembled around a generously large coffee table, a few spots were already taken. One person immediately catches his attention: It was him again. Jumping over from behind the couch, Souda places himself next to the car strangers he already met. Unsure of where to sit, as his friend was now seated on a full couch, the only free spaces being on the one across, where a certain someone was already comfortable, Hajime sends his colleague a stern look.

"Ah, Hajime, chill out. There's free space man, just sit and chill."

Pointing his head towards the couch with only that one person on it, Hajime doesn't bother any more and desolately sits down next to the boy he saw this afternoon. Having his legs spread wide open, Hajime inconveniently came in touch with him, making him soberly aware of his physical surroundings, and as if it was a distraction from his inner panic, led him to observe if anyone was looking at him right now at all. Finally properly lifting his head up for what seemed like the first time ever since joining the party, Hajime was indeed being watched by everyone in this round. Across the table were his school friend and the two weirdos, left and right from the table were two ominous-looking guys, one looking like an adult infant while the other was nothing short of buff, for lack of better words, and right next to him, filling the right side of the couch, was Nagito Komaeda. Without revealing all too much curiosity, Hajime dares to look him in the eyes. Upon realizing, once he faced him close, that the white-haired had already been eyeing the shy boy for probably longer than he was conscious enough to notice, Hajime takes notice of the bright green in his eyes, further, the redness that was surrounding his iris. He almost forgot. The group of people seemed to loosen up in chatter, making the serious atmosphere, that just enveloped everyone so intensely, melt into a void of calm. At least that's how the loud background noise was being filtered out by his ears, slowly getting used to the level of offensiveness in light and sound.

"It's Souda's friend again, hello."

"I'm not his friend."

"Right, I'm sorry."

Conversing without much attentiveness from Hajime's side, with him only facing into the space between the couches so he didn't accidentally stare into anyone's face while being zoned out, Nagito moves in his seat, bumping against his arms and legs once again and bringing the boy back into the moment. Spread out on the table were a few snacks and drinks, but mostly filling the table were alcoholic beverages and cigarette trays. Disgusted by the sight, he looks to his classmate, who was happily engaged in conversation with the other guys. Hajime wasn't feeling relaxed, more was it that his surroundings were making him go numb and exhausted, despite him not moving much at all. He did notice the look from the boy next to him, and his welcoming smile amidst all these superficial people, so he decided to give it a chance. Pouring himself a glass of orange juice, feeling lucky that there was one last plastic cup left, he turns to the one close to him.

"So, do you have a, uh, dog?"

Trying his best not to outwardly cringe at his poor attempts at seeming relaxed and 'cool', he pulls his mouth corners into a trying smile, which merely came to appear as a wide line drawn across his face, rather than an actual smile.

"A dog?"

Raising his eyebrow slightly, the other waits for any further explanation from the forceful socializer, who was by now overfilling his cup with orange juice, having been caught so off guard by Nagito that his full attention rested on his reply, and facial expression, rather than the deed at hand. Clumsy and agitated, Hajime with fiddly hands closes up the orange juice box and sips on the cup, as to prevent any more juice from overflowing, making the round of people gaze at him once again.

"Bwahaha, Kazuichi, your friend sure is one party bomb!"

The purple-haired small one shouts out in a pitched tone, gaining a few low giggles from almost everyone. Growing tenser and tenser, Hajime laughs it off:

"Haha, you're right. I should've called an ambulance in advance, cause my energy really do be smashing the place in half."

"HAHAHAHA."

Erupting into laughter, all six can't help but wince to their stomach from their chuckling, with the one next to him simply giggling lowly. Hajime doesn't quite understand what had been so funny about his response, as he was solely mimicking how the others his age talked, or at least that's how it sounded to him.

"That bastard's always quiet, he should definitely come out more."

"Agreed man."

Gaining a thumbs up from Souda, Hajime sighs as some of the tension that had been piling up inside of him slowly started to subside. Sipping from his very full orange juice, his attention is brought back to the one next to him, who seemed to be asking for his cup. Mildly perplexed, Hajime extended his hand to give him his cup, realizing how weird he found the gesture mid-movement, but it was already too late as the presumably stoned boy delicately takes hold of the cup, to take a few sips, all while looking Hajime into his eyes. Barely having blinked, the satiated places the cup back in Hajime's hand, which didn't move an inch ever since the interaction, making him clear his throat.

"I help out at an animal shelter in my free time. It belongs to Gundham, isn't that right?"

"Hm? Oh, certainly. My precious little Devas wouldn't otherwise be properly fueled with the otherworldly astral energy that they need."

"You heard it."

Taken off guard by Gundham's overtly 'chuunibyou' answer, his mind finally makes sense of the sight he took in at the animal supplies shop.

"Ah, I-I see. He must be paying you well then."

"Well, he-"

"PAY??? I don't even possess such lowly materialisms as money, for your measly human brains cannot comprehend the means by which I purchase my magic."

"Basically, he barely earns enough for himself. What I'm doing is voluntary work. Though he does hook every one of us up with some special herbs."

Like on cue, his sentence made Souda jump in his seat.

"Dude, you remind me: Tanaka dude, pull out the big guns if ya know what I'm saying!"

"The big guns...?"

Hajime being utterly lost in the flow of this conversation, is gently informed by his neighbor.

"He meant the Marijuana."

"O-oh."

As if the air wasn't already filled with the utmost health-damaging substances known to man, Hajime's sinuses were once again being attacked by a foreign smell. Not as foreign though, he notices, as it was that exact smell that sometimes greeted him ever so faintly in the mornings where Souda came in late, when he was throwing himself all over Hajime as per usual. Pulling out the plastic bags, Gundham closes his eyes:

"This, my humans, is what we, where I come from, call: Divina viridi herbis."

"Yeah, yeah we get it, it means 'dope plant' in Spanish or sumthin, now do you got the paper?"

Seeing everyone get eager to get their hands on the utensils, which consisted of some square papers and unfamiliar little devices to, stamp? The grass? Hajime was clearly giving up trying to understand the process, and he didn't want to be part of that anyway. He could sense the boy next to him still being as relaxed as before, not even minding the happenings before him much. Rather was he gazing into the crowds of people who were up dancing, and it made Hajime wonder just what he was thinking. Despite having put him in the same box as all of the other friends of Souda, he seemed to be different. Having his arms widely rested on the couch, eyes locked into a completely different direction, head turned away, he suddenly speaks to Hajime, in a tone that would indicate him smiling as he spoke:

"I see you looking at me."

Wildly taken aback, Hajime, now extremely flustered, spills out a few mumbled apologies before minding his business and turning back to his orange juice, trying to sip on an empty cup, not realizing it's empty. Once they were finished with the rolling of the now freshly made joints, they started handing out one to everyone in this secluded space, including Hajime.

"N-No, you know I don't do this."

"Come on, it's a one-time thing! Man you gotta let loose once in a while, you always grind and nothin' else."

"Nuh-uh not happening."

"Whatever, man."

Looking slightly saddened, Souda continues to hand one final joint to Nagito, who wordlessly accepts it, putting it into his pocket.

It's not like he wanted to ruin the mood, but there were certain boundaries he wanted to maintain no matter what. He agreed to come, but not to do things he would later regret, or was he already acting in a way that he would regret later on? 

...

"A-All right, let me try just one time..."

"Wait, for real???"

"Don't make me change my mind."

Gaining yet another few intense looks, this time of surprised nature, Hajime gulps visibly as he takes into his hand the thing he dreaded so much, the devil's fruit. By now the blood eagerly rushed into his head, and the combination of all of the vivid sensations that were occupying Hajime's mind and the adrenaline from the thing he was just about to do didn't seem to help his case. He ineptly lights the joint, trying to look calm, and without having his thoughts distract him any further, takes one deep breath from the joint. It's safe to say that a coughing mess wasn't even close to describe Hajime seconds after, his tears reaching his neck as he coughed out like he was trying to exorcise the devil himself out of his lungs. Hajime felt like his eyeballs were about to plop right out, and he couldn't think straight for a few minutes, and as the people around him couldn't hold themselves from laughter, Souda chuckles out:

"Man, why you so aggressive with it? This your first time, you gotta take it slow, anyone got some water?"

Taking the bottle from someone, he couldn't focus to be aware of who was doing what at that moment, neither who was giving him the water, he started chugging down the liquids. It took another five minutes, but eventually he started to come back to himself, coughing session only slightly complete, as he silently put the joint back on the table. He didn't know how he felt, but what he did know was that he was definitely not high, only annoyed and left with a headache. His so-called friend didn't mind him any further, as almost all of the people just seemed to drift into their own world, a world where Hajime was the least of their worries. The tightness of this space was just now reaching the burdened guy, as his head filled with a mixture of remorse and bitterness, and it was about to reach it's peak when, in the softest manner ever, Nagito leans into Hajime's side, without invading too much personal space, to whisper:

"You want to get some fresh air for a little bit?"

He did not expect any of the things that were happening, but his current fragile state wasn't to be messed with, and he knew that very well, so he sighs with deeply closed eyes.

"Yeah."

It was rather chilly for an early august night, the remnants of summer still hanging in the air, yet perfectly blending in with the fresh wind that was to announce the soon dawning fall. Walking out into the backyard, despite it being far from the music, the garden and surrounding area are still being occupied by random party people, a few just chilling on the side with drinks in their hands, or couples having their own time. Nagito, seeming to know his way around this place, swiftly guides Hajime away from the garden, out into the bit of open forest that could be found once you went out far enough. The silent footsteps, crackling on leaves and tree branches was all that Hajime now took in, only if you listened very closely were you able to hear the base beats coming from the party. They didn't walk out too far, as the ground beneath them started to go uphill, leading their way to a park bench, which offered the perfect view over the neighborhood and the house. As Nagito slowed his steps to sit down, he doesn't look up to Hajime, but gestures, with a smile that was directed at the house of their host, for him to sit down next to him. He follows suit, taking a deep breath in and out once he finally calmed down, surrounded by the fresh air of the night and the serenading atmosphere of the outside. He only now notices how truly agitated he really became inside, and this short walk seemed to be just the relief that he needed.

"I know the feeling. I also hate cramped places like these."

"You do..?"

"I may not look like it, but I really prefer the quiet much more than all the loudness."

And he really didn't seem like that to Hajime, at least only under the assumption that he was one of Souda's friends, and all of Souda's friends were, in one way or another, the same. Maybe he got the wrong impression of him, after all. But it was too early to judge, Hajime was sure of it. He didn't even know anything about this guy after all. Something inside of him suddenly decided it felt like the appropriate moment for Hajime to open up a bit, too, since the other had been nothing short of open and... kind.

"I-I only came because I thought it would help me relax, but, it really isn't all that relaxing to be honest."

"So you came here as a stress relief?"

"I don't know. Maybe, I guess..."

"Hm."

Not much is said after that, and for a while, there is nothing but the silent sounds of the untouched green behind them and the lively but distant sounds from the roaring house. Both of the boys just sat there, next to each other, taking in the calm of the now. A few minutes pass like that, with their eyes roaming around the scenic view, when the wild-haired one rummages around in his jacket, to pull out the joint from before.

"You don't mind if I, do you?"

"N-No, we're outside after all. Better than inside."

"Thank you."

Normally he very well would've minded the action, but since he was also the one who brought him out of the mess and into some well-needed ease, he felt like it was okay. It being okay did not diminish his curiosity, however, and he eagerly, while trying not to be suspicious, watched the guy in green as he, almost elegantly, placed the joint in between his knuckles. Lighter already pulled out in the other hand he, with smooth movements, ignites the end of the joint to, with pale, rose-colored lips, pull and deeply inhale from the joint. The crackling sound from the plant being burned to ashes can be heard, and the flame at the end lights up just enough to look like a tiny firework. The well-mannered guy holds his breath for a moment, all while closing his eyes, as if to capture as much of the sensations going on inside of him as possible, only to gently breathe out the gray humid clouds, opening his eyes with full-on glow displaying on them. It all seemed so quick, but to Hajime, in that particular moment, the act he despised so much, almost looked kind of beautiful. Pulling another two or three times, Nagito doesn't bother to say or do much, other than to embrace the high that slowly crept into his mind the more he inhaled. That is, until he finally turns to look at Hajime.

"You know, Souda was partly right."

"W-What...?"

"You were way too fast."

He shifts in his seat, opening his body posture up to face the now stiffening one.

"This is my first hit of today, and you can see for yourself how I'm taking all the time that I need."

"Your, first...? Weren't you..."

"High already?"

He lifts his hand, joint still in position, to point at his eyes.

"I don't sleep well, that's why they're often red."

"Ah... I see."

Of course conversations between two people are supposed to be personal, for the most part, but it sometimes felt a little too personal for Hajime, feeling like the other could see right through his flesh, always knowing what he wanted to say. Or was that just how people talked with other people they didn't know too well? He truly didn't have any comparison, the only person he ever talked to was Souda, but he knew Souda ever since elementary school, so that didn't count. There was this little sound, this little faintly hushed voice that called to Hajime, whispering words he could clearly understand, despite it being of such a small-scaled volume: Don't do it. You will regret it. You will get yourself into something you cannot save yourself from. Don't engage. You will inevitably be pulled into, don't.

"H-Hey... say, is, is this addictive?"

He felt quite embarrassed to ask such a silly question, yet the other laid open his reply with generosity.

"Chemically, no. 

Psychologically? ...It depends."

The pale boy eyes the olive-skinned one with intent, as if he was evaluating something, something Hajime couldn't decipher. The longer that the smoke swirled its way up into the dark sky, silhouette barely visible under the streetlights the higher it rose, the more grew the anticipation inside of the boy, and the curious eagerness to dare the thing he set on to his black list with all might. 

"O-On, what? Like the person?"

"For example."

Already having smoked half of the joint, Nagito stretches himself, all four limbs into all four directions, before asking:

"Do you want to try it out again? Properly and, carefully, this time?"

He knew that if he didn't ask, he himself would've dared to pop the question. Now that the opportunity presented itself, and not only that, it presented itself in such a calming and comfortable atmosphere that, without shying away from his inner alarm bells, he slowly turns to the boy, sincere angst in his eyes:

"But I tried and m-messed up big time... How would I do this differently now?"

"Let me help you."

Straightening his back, the albino slowly brought the cigarette back to his lips, stopping just before them to ask:

"Let me just help you out, can you trust me with that?"

Confused by the weirdly placed question and the serious tone, Hajime thinks for a moment before agreeing in his head that he did feel concerns, but these weren't about Nagito, but rather the deed at hand. If Nagito, however, offered to help him try this thing out in a safe manner, then he felt like he could surely trust him with that, especially after how the guy has been acting up until now. Calm and observant. Friendly and... nice.

"Y-yes. Just go for it."

"Just go for it?"

He laughs slow and deep, beaming at the straight A-student with even more reddened eyes, face adapting in rosé tones.

"Whatever you say, Hajime."

He continues his action of pulling from the joint, slowly pulling in the vapor, before removing the joint from his mouth. It is then when he suddenly, without any nonverbal warning, scoots closer to the boy, their thighs now fully touching, as the white-haired puts his hand around Hajime's neck, delicately, as not to scare him too much, pulling him closer until their mouths are only a few finger-lengths apart, that he pierces the dark-haired deep into his gaze. Hajime, frozen in his mind from the suddenness of the situation, feeling overwhelmed with the sudden intimate physical contact he was being exposed to, stares back for a short, yet somehow endless moment before finally realizing what the other wanted from him. Swallowing, he shuts his eyes close in embarrassment as he, lips just gently trembling, parts his lips and opens his mouth so Nagito could, with the softest force ever, exhale the smoke into Hajime's mouth, lips barely touching. Hajime follows suit as he inhales the contents slow and steady, closing his lips as soon as the exchange was completed.

"Don't exhale just yet. Try to hold it for a bit."

Hajime did as he was told, trying his best not to cough out, although it didn't feel as bad as his attempt before, that was for sure. A few seconds pass, and he breathes out, seeing the light clouds leaving his mouth, rising up into the night sky. He didn't pay too much attention to his physical sensations at that moment, as his whole mind was blank due to unforeseen actions of the boy next to him, that was until now, when he felt his head going lighter in weight, like there was something pumping up helium into the space behind his eyes. He only felt it slightly, but the weird lightness was there, so he looks to Nagito for reassurance. Nagito, still relatively close to him, arm now rested on the bench behind Hajime's back, smiles warmly, and it was the kind of smile that instantly let Hajime know that he knew exactly what was going on inside of him, like he felt the exact same things right now as he did.

"This little method works, but you are not getting the full experience this way, so should I do it again? If you can handle it, that is."

Hajime was just about to respond when a bright flashlight disturbs the two mid-conversation. Shocked from the scare of it, Hajime looks around frantically to fathom whatever that was, and sure enough, did he spot a shadow behind a few bushes and trees, snapping pictures of Nagito and him. Before he could voice out any type of complaint, the foreign person, as quickly as the flash hit, steps back and sneaks away in such a speed that in a mere few seconds, the stranger was nowhere to be seen anymore. He instantly gets up, but it's the fluffy clouds under his feet that make him tumble for a bit, heaving as he felt like he was on top of the Eiffel Tower. Nagito is agile enough, to Hajime's surprise, to catch him before he completely lost balance and tripped over nothing.

"Oh my god, di-did you see that...?"

"Yes I did, but Hajime, try to sit d-"

"Someone was watching us... Someone was watching ME take drugs!"

Babbling out in just a few slurred words, Nagito guides him back to the bench. Hajime wanted to escalate, as being photographed by a complete stranger was truly the last thing he needed, but he briskly shoves the thought aside, as the other one, arms still around his shoulders as if to support him, caught all of his attention. He was high himself, wasn't he? Then why was he showing such care for Hajime when he barely knew him? He could've just left him to be for himself here, like his other 'friends' did, that's for sure. Yet he stayed by his side, instead of laughing at him and abandoning him when he needed a friend the most. But Hajime was always sure that he didn't need anyone, so, why?

"I don't know who that was, but maybe Souda or the others know who that might've been. Can you step inside with me or do you need a minute?"

"Uh, I don't actually know, I feel fine. I actually feel really light and kind of calm. So, I don't know... What did you say you wanted to do? Ask Souda? Uh, I guess I can come, but I honestly don't like the air inside that party, you know?"

"Haha, alright. How about you wait here for a few minutes and I bring you some more water?"

"Actually I would love some water, I don't know I also kind of crave something to eat right now, if you don't mind, would you also bring some snacks back? I think I saw a bag of chips there."

"Of course, I'll be right back."

Once Hajime was left to himself and his senses, he bears the capacities to process everything properly. The wind hurried suddenly to caress his face and hair, stroking his nerves in soft rhythms while he truly embraced this majestic moment. At first, it's only a tiny one, then a few more follow, swaying left and right to land in unpredictable places. Seeing pink cherry blossom petals rain on to him in slowed pace, which disguised themselves as literal butterflies in the eyes of the boy whose head rested in a cloud far away right at that moment, he suddenly ponders hard about why there were cherry blossoms falling, and why there were falling oh so beautifully, when it was just late august. Weren't they only falling in spring? Oh, but he did read in an article that in certain seasons, the cherry blossoms liked to give an encore in fall. So it really was that time again, huh? The years really flew by too fast, before he can even blink he'll already be done with his graduation. He, unbeknownst to him, giggles to himself at the thought, as laughable these rather heart-rending realizations could be to him at that moment. Right, he still didn't figure out who that scary paparazzi person was, not like he was famous of course, everything but that. But why would anyone take a picture of him at random? What did they capture on those pictures? The whirlwind of worries is stopped when a cherry blossom petal lands on his thigh, forming a tiny heart, tiny like his heart was usually feeling. Usually, yet his heart did feel somehow warmed when he felt into his state, only now did he realize how he was utterly lost feeling like this. It almost felt uncomfortable, why was he feeling so happy? Was he really able to feel such things? Was something wrong with him? He carefully takes the cherry blossom into his hand, choking on his dried out throat and tongue, yet collecting himself just in time before he started another coughing fit. He wasn't able to collect every part of himself, to his own dislike, when the pink cherry blossom, now flat on the palm of his hand, is tainted with the salt-filled droplets before he could catch them. This moment felt so serene, in a sense, it was too serene, like suddenly giving a puppy, who has eaten dirt and trash for his whole life, premium quality, five-star dog treats, especially made for dogs. That's the only other metaphor Hajime can come up with, as his feelings did inhabit the best of him entirely, as he sat there, still giggling to nobody, eyes drenched, yet calm. He did not like being left in this puddle of emotions, as if this scenery was a mere lie, just waiting for him to relax into it and trust that it's here to stay, when in reality, it was just an illusion. A mirage, all of these new unfamiliar states of being were just a Fata Morgana waiting to trap him deeper into the hole he had sunken into all his life. He threw the fragile cherry blossom petal to the ground, flicking it away, wiping his face dry and preparing himself to stand up. His own thoughts confused him more than ever, and he guessed that it just 100% had to do with the marijuana he just inhaled. His head was roaring, yet his body wanted to rest there, on this park bench, forever. But wait, wasn't there someone with him just now? Who was that again, Souda was it? No, no he was still inside wasn't he. Ah, Komaeda! Nagito Komaeda, his full name sounded kinda cool, spontaneously came to Hajime's mind. Where was he? He got up, this time steadying himself with both hands on the side of the bench, once again trying to comprehend the fluffy sensations under his feet. He seriously felt like he could fly right now, it was insane to the innocent boy. Putting all concentration he could collect there onto his intent, he let go. Standing tall like a skyscraper, he couldn't have felt prouder to master such a seemingly impossible task all by himself. He promised himself to relax at this party, and here he was! He laughed out like he just heard the funniest thing in the entire world, before uncoordinatedly taking step by step back to the house, to look for his newfound... acquaintance.

The way down was, in the most literal sense, the craziest trip by far. Every thing, every color, every smell, every light, every shadow, just every sensation seemed to have become so incredibly vivid, he felt like the world around him was covered in a filter. But, since his coordination and physical agility normally was in the most excellent condition, he, at least from the outside, appeared to be totally okay coming down the hill way and back into the garden of the residence. The music echoed in his eardrums more intensely than when he arrived, and he made the wise decision of waiting outside a bit longer before ultimately having to go inside. He was still thirsting for water, after all. Oh, and some snacks, yes. Chips, favorably. Normally his mouth would water at the thought, but in the attempt to swallow his spit he once again lead himself into a choking session, this time not being able to contain himself. Did a part of the Sahara desert move into his throat? This was the only question he could ask himself before, lungs already imploding, erupting into loud banging coughs, scaring all the random party guests around him in the garden, people he didn't even notice at all.

"I guess someone caught a little bit of something in his throat."

Putting one hand on his back, he immediately held out a bottle of water, making Hajime snatch it out of his hand desperately, as his life depended on it.

"Sorry, I took a bit longer, I just couldn't find Souda and Fuyuhiko for a moment. They're both totally wasted, so I took care of them."

Reviving himself with the ice-cold water running down his throat, feeling like he was just being reborn on top of Mount Everest, he collects himself before responding:

"It's okay, it felt like I was up there for like ten centuries but it was honestly okay. Souda and, Fuyuhiko you said? 'That the guy with the muscles?"

"No, that's Nekomaru, the other one was-"

"Nekomaru? Ohh, that Nekomaru! He coaches the little kids at my school. Seems like a cool guy."

"Haha, he surely is."

Nagito took a step back to face the other properly, now standing face to face, as he came to bring his hand up towards Hajime's head. Thinking that the other would aim for somewhere near his forehead, the friendly boy lifts his hand way higher, picking something from his hair.

"Something got stuck in your ahoge, here."

Grinning at him, Nagito places the object in his hand. It was a pink cherry blossom petal.

"Did that seriously get stuck in my hair? No, you said it laid on top of my... Ahoge???"

"It balanced itself perfectly on its peak!"

Mildly abashed, Hajime holds one hand out in front of his face protectively. Why was he being so casual about Hajime's obvious hair disaster? He always had a complex with his standing hair strand, yet the one in front of him didn't even comment one odd thing about it. 

His damn cursed train of thought, however, travels the visual features of the albino up, scanning their way across his legs and hips, drawing circles around his collar bone and jawline, skating over his facial features, higher and higher until they reach the most probable reason for Hajime's question: He was doomed by the ahoge curse himself. It all made sense now! He was suffering just like him! Except, maybe, his's was slightly more... wavy. Well, everyone's different, Hajime exclaims in his head, coming to the final conclusion that they both maybe had a mutual understanding of each other. This newfound closeness made Hajime feel even giddier inside, but he is quick to brush aside those emotional impulses when he notices just how long he had been staring at Nagito, long enough for the boy to turn down his gaze, blushing ever so faintly as he brushed through his hair in clear fluster. Hajime quickly snaps his head away, chugging even more water, even though he was already full, emphasizing just how delicious this water was to him, easing up the tension just enough for both to be comfortable again.

Hajime, resting one hand on the garden table, the other hand holding the water, crossing his legs very diluted and eased up, stares at Nagito. Starting to look a little bit unsure about why the brown-haired was eyeing him in such a way, Hajime aims to calm and regain his composure, still staring like a statue without moving even one bit, before wanting to make a few points clear.

"Say, Nagito, is it normal that I feel like I'm floating over the ground? Like, literally, a few generous inches above the ground, without contact?"

The (truly) relaxed one was trying his best to contain the laughter that was building up in his chest, forming the usual wide grin that caught Hajime off-guard, making him finally move and break eye contact, instead of pretending like he was cremated on the spot.

"Yes, that's completely normal. That's the high you're getting, it makes you feel relaxed and well, like you could float off."

"Interesting. At first, I didn't really notice anything but now, I feel it. Like, I really FEEL it. Do you know what I mean? Okay, you probably know better than I do, haha!"

Now gazing into each other again, the two polar boys laugh wholeheartedly, and this time, Hajime truly laughed from his soul, simply enjoying this little moment with every sense. It was just like one of those silly moments you saw in the movies, only did it feel that much more, human, than Hajime thought it would actually be like to experience it yourself, making his heart flutter, like his heart was the size of a child's, fluttering all throughout his cells, making the blood dance in his veins. He imagined the cherry blossom petals swirling around his chest and head, the imagery making his heart flutter and stomach turn even more, as it felt like that was exactly what was happening, resulting in him beaming bright and wide.

"What time do we have, anyways? I feel like I already stayed here for a couple of days, well, not really. Tell me if I'm over exaggerating."

"No, you're fine, Hajime. We have, like almost midnight."

"Midnight???"

"Pretty late, huh?"

Turning his head to the door leading inside, Nagito seems to be thinking for a moment, before, turning to Hajime once again.

"You know what? Come with me for a sec."

Walking inside, making sure that he wasn't losing track of Nagito in the crowd, which in turn didn't seem necessary as the other stopped at some point to walk alongside Hajime, holding out one hand behind his back so he could guide the first-time stoner towards the right direction, the two of them romped through the party that was now in full force. Despite the dark setting, Hajime is able to spot his classmate, as he seemed to be amusing himself on the dance floor, twerking his way towards Sonia, who was facing him with her back, unsuspecting of the attack that was just about to hit her. He could also see the others spread out in the living room, like the purple-haired small guy, who he never would've seen in this crowd if it was for him, kneeling on top of a table, kissing another guy with, was that blue hair? Hajime wasn't sure, and he couldn't care any further, as his ears were pulsating into his ears, making him shudder under the stress of the offensive music and environment. Nagito, still leading him with his hand, swiftly whispered into his ear:

"Don't worry, we're almost there."

Eventually reaching a staircase Hajime didn't even see, as the living room alone seemed to be bigger than a normal family apartment, one that a middle-class person could barely afford, Nagito now leads the way up the stairs, still making sure Hajime was behind him after every step, which the other appreciated completely, as the stairs seemed to be challenging, not like when one was drunk, but in a way that Hajime couldn't fathom, like the stairs would each individually lift themselves up through the high ceiling to escape with his foot, once he set it on top of it. Overcoming his fear of something that under normal circumstances seemed not even thinkable to him, he finally climbed the whole set successfully, following the other through a large and long, complicated-looking hallway. The lights were off, the only thing lighting their way seemed to be the moonlight seeping through the also large windows, which were found once in between every door. The interior of this house, which he corrected to rather be called a mansion, looked like they were cut from a castle and inserted here. Following the hallway further, taking an arch to the right, they eventually reached what seemed like the last door on this floor, as Hajime now took notice of yet another staircase leading up another floor. Nagito discreetly opened the door, peeking his head left and right before entering, holding the door open for Hajime.

"Are you sure we can just enter like this? I mean, we don't even know who this room belongs to!"

Hajime unconsciously whispered, as the pounding music from before was barely audible up here, making it seem like he needed to be quiet as people could be sleeping in every room.

"Don't worry, I think it's fine, I know the guy who this house belongs to, after all. So he won't mind me making use of one room. Besides, you're exhausted aren't you, Hajime? I'll be honest, I am too, so let's rest here."

Upon seeing the other's timidity, Nagito spreads open the door further, holding out his arms as to welcome him in officially.

"Of course, only if you want...?"

This wasn't like how he planned to spend his time, he wanted to solely stay for a bit and then head home. Hell, he even would've walked all the way home if he needed to. Conflicted, he sunk his head for a moment to try to think straight, as he still felt the clouds under his feet holding him up all this time, and he lifted his head, sure of having found an answer, as he took sight of the moonlight pouring in from behind the white-haired boy, melting together with the lightness of his also fluffy looking locks, resembling the clouds that carried him with such diligence, sheathing him in a halo that made his sight resemble a painting, once again, making Hajime abruptly change his prepared answer.

"Yeah, sure."

~~~

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, despite me updating so infrequently lately! I've been so busy with life and everything in between, but I poured all my heart and soul into this so I hope you can look forward to the next chapters! 
> 
> I hope you are healthy and doing okay right now, I am sending you infinite hugs and love. <3
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


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